DISQUS

angrykeyboarder · 5 months ago

If I lived near you I'd so ask you out. :D Actuality, no I wouldn't. It's taken me years, but I've finally concluded that until I rally get my act together, relationships aren't an option.

The only problem now is... I don't think I'll ever get my act together and even if I did...

FWIW, every relationship I've been in since 1995 began online. None have been what I'd consider "successful" and yet I've known people onlne who ended up getting married (and still are as far as I know).

So it can work..

But I digress...

I used to be adverse to dating single moms, but only because I was young and not that crazy about kids. Since I've gotten older I've changed my tune. I lived with a woman for just over 2 years. She has son. At the time we met he was 6. I loved that kid as if he were my own. My hope was that someday she'd have another with me. But the relationship didn't work out (actually it was doomed from the start, but that's a long story).

My own "conditions" for dating single moms include a) she has no more than 2 kids and that they aren't grown b) she'd have one (or two) more with me - assuming we decided to spend "forever" together. c) She's strong and independent, honest and is not looking for a sugar daddy....

Those are mandetory, naturally there are more.

I'm rambling now..

dcfemella · 5 months ago

I would love to know the "more" part.

angrykeyboarder · 5 months ago

Email me for details if you like.

Kandeezie · 5 months ago

I think it has to do with spontaneity. When dating younger men, I'm sure they want you to be available all the time, and the fact that you're accountable to other people besides yourself means that you will need a confident man who can accept that you're not always going to be available.

I've realized that men aren't really taught explicitly in our culture that they need to have confidence. We always talk about low self-esteem and low confidence in a gendered way, as if only women experience this. Men are taught that what they have makes them worthy, not how they feel about themselves inside. So when their women aren't available when they snap their fingers, they may feel that they don't "have" you (and what would people say?!? *gasp*).

Obviously I'm making tons of generalizations, but I'm talking at the sociological level and not about individuals. Anyway, the point is that you will find a person that admires your strength and your family. They will see that as an asset. Don't back down. You have confidence. So should they.

dcfemella · 5 months ago

It's also life experiences. When you are older, you know more about life, so you are able to deal with more than a younger person can.

angrykeyboarder · 5 months ago

On the other hand, one reason I prefer younger women is that my life experiences are vastly different than most men my age. With the exception of stuff like being able to remember watching Richard Nixon announce his resignation on TV (I was 14), I feel I have more in common with someone 20-25 years younger than I do with someone 10 years (or less) younger than myself.

On a related note, the previously mentioned relationship was with a woman who is 16 years my junior and she found me to be immature....

/pd · 5 months ago

Not correct, as a Single man, I think single Moms are A-OK !!

Anyhoot, Hang in there.. @ times the wait is lonely..but I think at the end of it all, its will be worthwhile.

dcfemella · 5 months ago

There is an expression in Panama that says "Mejor esta sola que mala acompanada," which translates to "It's better to be alone than in bad company."

Kekibird · 5 months ago

You are a great mom and a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful woman deserving of a great man's love and his companionship. Men that don't understand that children aren't "baggage" but apart of the "package" aren't ready for a single mother and all that it includes. Yes, our pool of men are smaller but in that pool are some pretty great guys. Hang in there, you are awesome!

dcfemella · 5 months ago

Thanks Katie! I think the same thing about you. You're right. They are a great pool of guys, so that is why I don't worry anymore. =D

Joe Dawson · 5 months ago

I seperated from my childrens mother several years ago and the first year was difficult but the pressure eased and we adjusted to the new scenario. It's still strained at times but I'm sure that will never change..

In terms of dating, anyone with a negative approach/outlook is just ignorant to your situation. Being strong is a great quality and many people will find that attractive. I dated many girls after I broke with my childrens mother but it wasn't until I met my current partner that I was able to commit. She has a daughter so it was easier to relate our situations! At times it's difficult with the other parents in the background but it's worth it. Don't give up stay strong :)

dcfemella · 5 months ago

My single-mom friend, who is now married to a single father, told me that. She said it's easier to date another single parent because they understand. My ex, who I dated for three years, had two sons, and he was usually more understanding about things than someone who didn't have kids.

Danielle · 5 months ago

I am not a single mother, just a single woman in my mid-30s, but I still find the dating pool to be a bit shallow, both in number and quality. I can only imagine how adding children to the mix can make it more difficult. Although, I do have 5 cats and that seems to be a gigantic turn-off to many guys. I seem to automatically be grouped into the "crazy cat lady" category before they even get to know me as the successful, intelligent, funny, warm, caring person that I am!

Anyway, I'd love to talk to you about where you've been going in our area to meet quality guys.

dcfemella · 5 months ago

When I told my ex I was getting a cat, he said You don't want to do that cause people will think you are the "cat lady." I thought it was insane how people think.

Thai Girl World · 4 months ago

My thumbs up for you. I find you very strong and very practical. This strong attitude will help you find the right man who will love you more than you think. Why? because that lucky man knows he is in good hands. I know you are not in a hurry because your prince will just come at the right time and at the right place.

dcfemella · 4 months ago

I feel like pretty soon I am going to find the lucky man. My attitude towards dating is way more positive than it has ever been. Thank you =D

Ethan Wilson · 4 months ago

Good luck, it's not hard :D

dcfemella · 4 months ago

It's really hard in DC, or in any metropolitan city. I'm trying eHarmony again. I tried it once and met this nice guy, but he wasn't very cultured, so it didn't work out. I think this time I will be successful, so keep rooting for me!