DCFemella: Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History - Latest Comments

Re: My Sister; My Soulmate

dcfemella — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:24:46 -0000

Thank you Renee!

Re: My Sister; My Soulmate

Renee — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:30:05 -0000

Nicely said! I believe in soulmates, not necessarily the romantic kind. They are indeed hard to find, but you can find them in a sister, brother, mother, father, best friend, sister/brother in Christ too. Thanks for this article. :-)

God bless!

Re: To Get or Not Get a Dog

dogsdotinfo — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:24:35 -0000

Get a dog ! You will NEVER regret it ! and they keep you fit !

Re: Why Does a Strong Woman Scare Some Men Away?

dcfemella — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:31:57 -0000

Damiana,

I agree with many of the points that you touched on. Those are the types of situation that I always seem to find myself in. If I'm on a date, and I seem to know more than the guy on a subject, I usually won't hear from him again. If he shows an inkling of weakness, then he will slowly distance himself until he disappears. Like you said, all I can do is hope.

Re: Why Does a Strong Woman Scare Some Men Away?

damiana — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:14:24 -0000

Mike VanLare, I like the line of your thinking. Keep going!

Re: Why Does a Strong Woman Scare Some Men Away?

damiana — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:12:16 -0000

I like the line of this discussion. I think people are hitting on some good points and although I'm totally new to this site and have no idea how it works or even what it's called(der...) I did a search and found it very interesting.
Danielle, I wrote a comment in response to Jim Sliwa that you might find interesting.
But to add, I do think it's difficult obviously for strong women, like myself and you and others to find a partner who is not afraid or even familiar with truly being equal with a woman, on equal footing or eye level willing to give and take without getting intimidated by her fire. As I said below, it's not about dominating a man, because I am very strong but do not want to dominate a man. But I don't want to be dominated or inhibit my passion to placate a fearful person either and that's hard to find. The other thing I find and don't know but would like to from other women is being able to discuss things on a deep intellectual level even in an opinionated way, even getting heated at times but not antagonistic towards anyone, with a man without many of them getting really scared off. That is one of the struggles I find.
Does anyone else experience that?
There is so much historical context that lends to these dating and relationship dilemmas for modern women. Another idea is that perhaps finding a man really secure in himself is what a strong woman needs, one that can discuss things intensely, draw boundaries kindly when either one needs to and respect them and BOTH parties being able to compromise when needed and go back and forth between each state without anyone having to compromise their integrity or spirit but learning the language of each other before giving up so quickly because one of them might seem a bit strong or intimidating. I believe that strong women want a strong man, not in the dominating sense like the example of women controlling their men, but one who is strong internally, with himself and his identity so he is not freaked out by a woman who perhaps disagrees or challenges him intellectually or otherwise, someone emotionally strong enough to call a woman on her errors or limits but in a kind fashion, ultimately helping her as she might do the same for him. Really really good at communication which is what healthy strong women tends towards, working things out when they come up. That's ideal I know but hey one can hope!

D.

Re: Why Does a Strong Woman Scare Some Men Away?

damiana — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:53:39 -0000

Being controlled by your SO woman, isn't the same as dating or loving a truly strong woman. I think what these women are talking about, and I myself am experiencing has more to do with not being pliable and needy but instead less dependent upon a man's love or attention to validate their existence or worth, really needing to feel complete rather than share in companionship equally. These are different kinds of 'strong', instead of just being bossy or dominating, that's not strong. A lot of it has to do with history and traditional gender roles. Women were not allowed to be strong, play a strong viable role in their own lives throughout history and the world, and still continues in many places today. Fact not opinion. So it's ingrained in many people, men in particular to be used to a certain amount of give and control over how their lives play out with a woman who does not hold her own with him in their relationship. It's what they grew up with are used to, and until each generation grows out of these antiquated habits, mindsets, learns new ways of connecting with various kinds of women on different levels, deeper ones that challenge traditional roles, it will continue to be that way; albeit perhaps watered down each generation.
I get what you're saying about preference such as colors or heights etc, but the strong thing, has more to do with intimidation and fear and insecurity on the part of men in relation to women. I only say this because I have been told by some that I am intimidating and often noticed that many men I think, based on observation are scared of a woman who is opinionated and even confrontational on any subject, esp. personal / emotional, because it might hark into some intrinsic fear of being rejected or perceived that way...some kind of childhood fear having to do with the mother. Generally, when healthy people are involved, mothers love is unconditional and if a woman comes on strong with a man it doesn't mean we're rejecting them but just being ourselves and yet it might come off that way and trigger a knee-jerk reaction to go the other way. Just like many women are drawn desperately to men that aren't healthy for them or in compromising ways because they are so needy for that love and attention that many did not get from their fathers(due to sociological, historical and economic reasons that prevented them from connecting with their daughters in the way that the girls needed) and end up suffering in other ways even though they are not alone-a trade off. The old, why do good women date bad men thing?

Boy meaty stuff!

This is a good topic that really does need discussing...just giving props to those involved! :)

Re: Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!

dcfemella — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:02:06 -0000

Name, I have attached pictures of the products that I used. They really helped Hagi stop vomiting, so I hope it can do the same for your cat. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/vampyre_...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/vampyre_...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/vampyre_...

Re: Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!

Name — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:34:46 -0000

hi, could you be more specific - like how much fish oil and how often, and how much lotion and how often? I'm surprised its not dangerous for a cat to lick off and ingest the cortisone.... thanks!

Re: 31 Years of Wisdom

Kekibird — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:24:14 -0000

Happy Birthday beautiful lady!!

Re: 31 Years of Wisdom

thechannelc — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:53:23 -0000

Happy birthday Shevonne!

Re: Weekend is Filled with Nothingness, A Good Thing

dcfemella — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:51:01 -0000

It actually ended up being a horrible day. I guess it's better to have the day filled with activities.

Re: Weekend is Filled with Nothingness, A Good Thing

Adrianna — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:16:26 -0000

I can't picture you sitting still. From what it looks like on my end, you seem to be busy all the time. Not necessarily just work, but also play. It seems you have a healthy balance. But rest and "nothingness," is necessary too. I hope you enjoyed your "nothingness" day. ; )

Re: December Brings in the Bad News

swingtrading2 — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:57:00 -0000

Interesting post. I have made a twitter post about this. Others no doubt will like it like I did.

Re: 20 Best Actresses of All Time

dcfemella — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:08:30 -0000

They were great actresses too, but maybe in my 21-40 list. =D

Re: 20 Best Actresses of All Time

leofuentes — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:08:44 -0000

how about greta garbo and liz taylor? anyway great list congrats..

Re: Camping Trip With Fun Friends is a Must

dcfemella — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:22:59 -0000

Testing 1-2-3

Re: Happy Birthday Cebastian!

dcfemella — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:56:08 -0000

I love my babies so much. I can't imagine life without them.

Re: Happy Birthday Cebastian!

Kekibird — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:06:47 -0000

Happy Birthday little dude!!! Such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing his day with us.

Re: I Miss My Bike!

Kekibird — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:48:18 -0000

I hope you get a chance to ride. That day in DC with no cars on the road, kinda cool sounding!

Re: If I Could Start a Charity Tomorrow, It Would Be to Help Single Mothers

kitchenaid parts — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:33:16 -0000

In this post, I know you are a nice person. Helping people is good. Even teach them for free, it still give benefit for you. remember, god has promise for a good person like you.

Re: Once an Abuser, Always an Abuser

Witheld by request — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 10:28:59 -0000

Have you had to deal with the legal system and lawyers, who will not use the word abuse if one did not press charges at the time of the mental abuse, that escalated into throwing things at the woman, and required 911 intervention? Currently, I am supporting my daughter's legal battle with an ex who is now using the legal system to continue to control her time, money, emotional energy and children through the court. Any suggestions? I would like to see a registry that lists the names of those that have abused a spouse, so that women who may be charmed into thinking that this man is a great person, had an opportunity to get some info about the person before making a commitment. Save them from a future of same.

Re: Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!

valerierubio — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:08:45 -0000

Thanks, I will definitely keep you posted!

Re: Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!

dcfemella — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:39:55 -0000

Sorry to hear that you cat is vomiting. The fish oil I put in his wet food, and the lotion I apply to his skin. Good luck! Keep me posted.

Re: Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!

valerierubio — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:36:48 -0000

My cat has been throwing up like 4 days out of the week for the past 3 years. I've taken her to the vet and nothing! I'm going to try the "sensitive stomach" food first and then what you did with your cat. One question, the hydrocortisone lotion and fish oil, do you apply it to the skin? How did you apply it? Thanks:)